Whether you are a fan or not, online dating has become part of the mainstream when it comes to finding a date. Most apps are pretty similar, but they all offer something a little different so at the time of this guest’s arrival I was using a few of them. Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge. This article explores the possibilities of what can happen when a guest and a host use Tinder in the same household.
Now, let me pause here and say that I am in no way recommending these apps. I actually can’t stand them! I much prefer the old-fashioned “let’s meet in person” type of connection. The problem with this is that organic meetings are occurring less and less. Being that I am in a new town and do not know a soul, I didn’t want to cut off any potential options so I used multiple apps.
Using dating apps while Airbnb Hosting
I didn’t think about the possible ramifications of being on a dating app while hosting my Airbnb home share. I had gone through Airbnb Host Step 1, Airbnb Host Step 2, and Airbnb Host Step 3 to setting up my listing. The thought of these types of miscellaneous circumstances were not taken into consideration. Dating apps use proximity to locate potential matches and often start with those that are in close distance to you. Also, the fact that my town is small makes it much more likely that you will come across anyone and everyone using the app geographically located near you. With so few people in close proximity, there is greater risk of a host and guest using Tinder at the same time.
Busted on Tinder
I had a man check in one day that was very active on the online dating apps. Within the first 5 minutes of this guest entering the home, he was in my living room swiping away on the dating apps. (For those of you not familiar with how these apps work, you typically see a picture and swipe right to try to match with someone and swipe left when you are not interested.) I was working at my desk which is connected to the living room. He started some introductory small talk. I love talking to my guests and getting to know what they are about so I welcomed the conversation.
He noticed that I was getting ready to leave the house so he asked what I was up to and if there was anything fun going on in the area. I let him know that I was on my way to a beer festival. Being your typical American guy, he loved this idea and asked if he could join. Normally, I try not to get too personal with my guests; sure, I have conversations about their lives, but it is not often when I entertain the idea of venturing out of the house with a guest. I was still extremely new to town and was going alone so I told him he was welcome to join me.
The Airbnb Host’s profile appears on Tinder
He says he is ready at any time and continues playing on his phone. This is when the conversation switches to online dating. He asks me a few surface type questions and then BAM!, announces I popped up on the app. I was busted on Tinder. Talk about awkward! Very strange feeling to know that a guest and host are using Tinder at the same time. This may not have been such a big deal, but this particular guy was in my age range and I got the distinct feeling he had swiped right. Also, it is one thing to get busted on Tinder, but it is another scenario when the person who has found you on the app happens to be staying in your home!
No denying your single
So now a single man traveling through town staying in my home has busted me on not 1, but 2 different dating apps. I can no longer use the excuse that I have a husband, boyfriend, significant other. Totally busted on Tinder. No good way around this one so I crossed my fingers and hoped for the best.
Attempting to be a gracious Airbnb host
All was going so well at the beer festival that we decided some much needed food was in order afterwards. I know what you are thinking! You’re thinking from this point forward things are my fault. Well, can’t a girl be hopeful that a good time is possible without it leading to unwanted advances?? I supposed not, but this girl had been to a multiple hour all-you-can-drink beer festival. I was hungry and I was hopeful!
Things went fine at the restaurant. We continued to have a good time with good conversation. No, I realize now it was not a smart choice on my end to continue the party with more drinks. But we all know hindsight is 20/20. 🙂 Next stop was one of the most popular restaurant/bars in town with a live band. Thought I would be a good host and show him some fun in this town.
Shifting Tide
The band sounded great! The ocean was gorgeous. We opted for more drinks. And this was when I believed I had come into some luck! Boy meets girl. And it’s not me! He picked up a lovely lady so now his thoughts, hands, and mouth focused on a new target. Soon we were outside, relaxing in beach chairs watching the waves roar in and gazing at the gorgeous moon. He was deeply lost in the eyes of his new leading lady and I enjoyed conversation with her friend.
Things got so romantically heated for my new guest that he and his new make-out partner disappeared into the night. I was left with the girl’s friend. I figured I was in the clear. Just in case! we searched for them in the restaurant, in front of the restaurant, and outside by the beach where we had been sitting. No site of them anywhere. With the way they were carrying on what else were we to assume besides thinking they had gone back to her place? We toured the facility one last time and they were no where to be found. Deciding it was finally time to end my evening, I hopped in a Lyft and went home.
The morning after Tinder
I woke up late the next morning to a giant slew of texts. “Where are you?” “How could you leave me?” “I’ve looked everywhere for you” This went on and on and on. Completely taken aback, I was shocked he had bothered to wonder my whereabouts when I last I saw him he was in such a happy place. I texted him back and explained that to my understanding that when a grown-ass man leaves a bar with a woman he probably wants to be left alone. I hoped that by 40 years old, he would be able to take care of himself if he was pursuing the local ladies. Apparently not!
These teenager type texts continued back and forth for a few until I told him enough! It is not my business to get in the way of any man’s nightly activities. He finally gave up the discussion and abruptly asked if I wanted to go to lunch!
Too late. He had shown his crazy card. No lunches. No more drink outings. And the awkwardness continued for this all occurred on the first night of his ONE MONTH STAY.
Morale of the Story
- Beware when using dating apps and Airbnb at the same time.
- It is quite likely that a guest and host may be using Tinder at the same time
- You are bound to be found and get busted on Tinder especially since most apps operate according to distance.
- Renting a room via home share does not assume boundaries.
- Host/guest relationship is new to home share opportunities. No social norm exists for how this relationship should function.
- Proceed with caution when spending leisurely time with guests.
- Getting to know random people is one of the great benefits of running an home share. However, you may get more than you bargain for. Determine what boundaries you wish to have with your guests ahead of time and proceed accordingly.
Host & Guest connection
Some of you may wonder if situations do arise that allow a guest and host connection. Yes, on occasion these 2 parties celebrate a meeting of the minds. In an article published by Business Insider it speaks to some people’s usage of the platform for romantic interludes. Airbnb by no means endorses this behavior. However, human nature predicts that a guest/host hookup may happen from time to time. It’s best to realize that some visitors may have hopes of a dynamic overnight stay.